Oh, hey. You're still here? Really?
Been coming by, just checking in? No? I'll just pretend you said yes, then.
Anyway, pull up a chair! Here, let me dust that off for you. Have a seat, and try to ignore that cobweb cheekily tickling your ear. Enjoy this suspiciously old chocolate bar that I left the last time I was in here, on the house. Yeah, just break that part off. Don't feel bad; I wouldn't eat that bit, either.
So, how's every little thing? Really? Fascinating. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Me? I'm glad I imagined that you asked! Let me catch you up on everything.
Meet Katie. Wait, she looks quite different now. Let me get something more current.
She's now 7 months old, and quite possibly the most spookily happy baby I've ever seen. If she's not lonely or hungry, she's cool with the world. She came in at 9 pounds, 2 ounces, and for a while she was worryingly coasting on her ample birth pudge, but her eating picked up, and she's currently both fat and happy. Someone once said that the best things in life are round, babies and bubbles being chief among these, and that's certainly true in her case.
Daughters are, to be sure, very different animals. For one thing, they are very different in the behind-the-diaper area. When she first got here, I wasn't at all prepared for the fact that she would have fully complete girl gear at Level 1. O.o
I don't know what I expected, but now that I've had time to think about it, here's what should happen: Girls should be born with just a date down there. Maybe the word “Mattel” too, but that's negotiable. At about 18 (or better yet 30) the Vagina Fairy should visit, tap these proto-women on the crotch with a magic wand, and bink, lady bits!
But no. Instead, I have to worry about every boy's magic wand, from now until the day I die.
/cast Scare Beast
Andy? Andy's fine, thanks for asking. He's doing okay: hard-headed, negotiating, but sweet. He loves to make Katie laugh. For all of my worries about who he's going to become, I think he's going to grow up to be a compassionate person, a good person.
Now, now I understand the saying, “Boys will be boys”. He dashes all over the house, runs in circles (while wearing socks on a laminate floor) right in front of the brick fireplace, and was recently busted at school for jumping on his cot during nap time–all this from a boy whose parents were total teacher's pets in school! Today he stepped on a kid's finger, pulled the hair of a different kid, and hit still another one with a shoe, but it was okay because Andy didn't use his own shoe to do the deed. /sigh. It's hard to be angry with a kid who thrives on making you laugh; even his teachers have trouble disciplining him through the smoke bomb of charm he can toss.
How's WoW going? I'll save that for the next time I see you. When you come back, I'll have everything dusted and the Rainmate cranked up, I promise. I want to whip this place back into shape.